Ask Amy
by ChocolateIsMyDrug
Summary: Modern 'Emma'. The agony aunt of the Highbury High Chronicle comes to realise she doesn't know as much about relationships as she thought she did. A series of drabbles.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** A fun idea that occurred to me. This story will consist entirely of letters and replies in a high school agony aunt column. Keep in mind that the identity of the agony aunt is a secret known only to the newspaper editor, so that people feel safer trusting her with their secrets. Please review and tell me what you think!

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**Ask Amy**

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_There's this girl. I've known her since I moved here in the ninth grade, and I've liked her for almost as long. Sometimes I think she likes me too, because she's so nice to me – but then she's such a sweet person that she's nice to _everyone_._

_Is there hope that she might like me back, or should I give it up as a lost cause?_

_Languishing in Love_

Dear Languishing,

There are two possibilities here: one, that you've found yourself firmly in 'friends' territory with her; two, that she likes you back but doesn't know how to show it. Don't give up hope yet.

My advice is that you show her some subtle signs that mean you want to be more than friends: smile at her, make eye contact for a little longer than usual, touch her arm gently when you speak to her, etc. If you're still unsure about her feelings, make like you're going to ask her out; if she seems to be open to the idea, go for it – if not, save face and back down by proposing an outing for a whole bunch of your friends.

However, I think I know the girl you're talking about, and if you are who I think you are, then I'd say that you two are _tailor-made_ for one another, and that you have nothing to worry about. :)

Amy


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** A very quick update for you just because this is so ridiculously short. Please review and tell me your thoughts!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I took your advice and told her how I felt, and guess what – she likes me too! Thank you so much – you're the best._

_No Longer Languishing_

Dear No Longer,

What did I tell you? ;-) Congratulations!

Amy


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Another quick update because I've been writing this rather quickly, and because the last chapter was so short there wasn't much to comment on.

In answer to your questions, yes the couple in the first two are Mr. Weston and Miss Taylor. And the people in the upcoming chapters will be a bit more obvious, I think.

Keep in mind that Emma knows a lot of these people and interacts with them outside of her capacity as the 'Ask Amy' persona.

Let me know what you think of this one!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I'm new in school, and this boy in my English class just asked me out. I told him I'd think about it and get back to him, but I don't know what to do!_

_He seems really nice, and is kinda cute, but I don't know him that well._

_Undecided_

Dear Undecided,

As you said, you're new in school and you don't know this boy all that well; presumably he doesn't know you all that well himself. You're unsure about him, and you just got here – why rush into a relationship right now?

Take some time to look about you before settling for the first guy who asks you out – he sounds a little desperate if you ask me, and if you're who I think you are, then you could do so much better.

Amy


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Please review!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I've recently become good friends with this girl, and I really like her. She's really pretty, and popular, and smart and funny – but I thought she might be a little out of my league._

_It's a little hard to explain, but I've been trying to drop some cryptic hints that I'm interested, and lately it seems like she likes me too – should I go for it or not?_

_Wanna Be Her Prince Charming_

Dear Prince,

It sounds like you've been quite pro-active when it comes to your feelings – you've already done much of what I'd usually advise, and you seem to have gotten her approval as well. Well done!

You've done the groundwork, you've received some positive signs – I'd say... what are you waiting for? Go for it!

And if you're who I think you are, then I think you'll have no trouble. Good choice!

Amy


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Guess who? ;-)

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I've been reading your column for a while now, and I think you give terrible advice. You're so judgmental and some of your ideas are, quite frankly, bizarre. What exactly was desperate about the boy asking out the new girl from his English class, and why should 'not knowing him very well' be a reason for turning him down? He asked her out because he wanted to get to know her better! Shouldn't you encourage giving people a chance?_

_Plus you're supposed to be so objective and neutral, but I don't think you are at all! You base your advice on what _you _want to happen depending on who you think the person writing to you is. Well, let me say, that I think I know who _you _are, and if I'm right about your identity, I've tried to convince you in person of the dangers of meddling in other people's lives. One of these days you'll bitterly regret it._

_A Concerned Friend_

Dear Concerned,

I don't know who you are or who you think I am (or indeed, who you think _you _are), but you can take your concern and shove it.

Amy


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Review and let me know what you think!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I really like this girl, and I know she likes me too – but the problem is, her parents are really strict and won't let her date. We've been sneaking around behind their backs for a while, but she keeps saying she feels terrible about lying to her parents and everyone else, and she wants to tell them the truth._

_But if we do that, they'll refuse to let her see me, and I don't think I could bear that. What do I do?_

_Romeo_

Dear Romeo,

Wow, that sounds like a pretty tough predicament. Be warned – you might not like my advice. I think your girlfriend is right in wanting to let her parents know. You can't keep this hidden forever, and they'd only get more mad if they found out from somewhere else.

I think the two of you should tell her parents the truth, and then if they want you two to stop seeing each other, respect their rules and comply. But let her parents get to know you, and show them that they can trust you and that you are sincere in your feelings for their daughter, and maybe they'll reconsider.

By the way, I have no idea who you are – but good luck!

Amy


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thoughts? :)

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I took your advice and turned down the guy from my English class, and then I began to like this other guy – he's so good-looking, and popular, and funny. I thought he liked me too, because he always used to come over and talk to me if he saw me, and it's a little hard to explain, but I thought he was sending me all these cryptic signs to see if I was interested._

_But it turns out that he really liked my friend all along, and that he was only sucking up to me so that she would like him! I don't blame my friend at all, because she turned him down and she's been so nice about it, but I don't blame him either for liking her better than me. Who wouldn't?_

_Anyway, do you think I'll ever find someone?_

_Despairing_

Dear Despairing,

Please don't despair! That special someone is out there somewhere waiting for you, and you _will_ find him. In the meantime, I'd say you should be glad you found out so soon what a complete, horrible, insincere, arrogant jerk that guy is. Now that you know, you can move on to someone way better (although granted, that's not hard). If he could lead you on like that, he totally doesn't deserve you, and you shouldn't waste another thought on him!

It sounds like you have a really good friend; surround yourself with people like her – people who you know you can count on, and who won't stab you in the back for the sake of a boy. But don't beat yourself up about this mentally challenged idiot liking your friend better than you – if he couldn't recognise your good qualities, it's his loss entirely. Be yourself, be happy, and don't let him get you down.

Amy


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Okay, so I cheated and went out of the letter format (and will again in future) – but it's still epistolary! Forgive the odd spacing of the email addresses and 'at' instead of the at symbol - it's the only way to keep FF net from eating them.

Tell me what you think of this one!

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To: jerry. knight at gmail .com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, March 17, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Subject: Don't say 'I told you so'

You were right. Yes, I admit it. You were right, and I was wrong about that jerk, and I really goofed things up with Hannah. You don't have to lecture me – I feel awful about it. :(

I've learned my lesson – really. If I ever give anyone advice again, it'll only be in the capacity of **Ask Amy**.

Are we friends again?

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To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail .com

Time Sent: Mon, March 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Subject: It's okay – I won't

I know you're feeling bad enough without me gloating. But I will say that I'm glad you found out how things really stood before it went much further. Hope Hannah will be okay.

And yes, we'll always be friends. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Review and let me know your thoughts! Note on the censoring - this is not me being a prude, it's just that this publication is supposed to be a school newspaper.

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_So I don't like that girl I wrote to you about anymore – turns out she's just a stuck-up b... who was leading me on the whole time. She told me she had only been nice to me because she wanted me to get together with her mousy little friend – can you believe her nerve?_

_Anyway, I found someone else who's way hotter, so it's all her loss – if she comes back crying to me, she'll be too late._

_Prince Charming_

Dear Prince Smarmy,

Was there a purpose to your letter? Did you want to ask my advice on anything, or did you simply want to gloat?

People like you make me sick – maybe if you had looked a little closer at the 'stuck-up b...'s' friend, you might have seen a really lovely person who could have made you happy. But no, you're clearly incapable of anything that accepting and decent.

Hope you're happy with your 'hot' new girlfriend. Have a nice life, loser.

Amy


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** The plot thickens... please review!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_Nobody knows my boyfriend and I are going out because my parents don't let me date, and he's begged me to keep it a secret so they don't stop us from seeing each other._

_I was feeling bad enough about lying and being paranoid that everyone will find out, but now he's started flirting with this other girl in order to 'deflect suspicion' from us. He knows I don't like it, but he does it anyway. I've debated about whether or not I should break up with him, but I _really _like him. What do I do?_

_Frustrated_

Dear Frustrated,

Why are you even with this guy? You've told him how you feel about lying to your parents, and about his behaviour towards that other girl, and yet he doesn't seem to respect your opinions. It's not fair to your parents, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to that other girl whose feelings he is toying with.

But... since you seem to want to make it work, I would say to tell your parents the truth. They might freak out at first, but they'll come to respect you for being honest with them – and it's a lot better than them finding out from somewhere else, because then they'll inevitably feel that you deceived them. This course of action might temporarily separate you from your guy, but if he is really sincere about you, he will convince your parents that they can trust you with him.

Amy


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Would love to hear your thoughts, as always!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I'm good friends with this girl (and no, this is not one of those 'I'm totally in love with her, and don't know what to do' letters), and lately it seems like she likes this guy who seems to like her back._

_What's the problem with that, I hear you ask? The problem is, I don't think he's sincere about her – something about him seems a bit off. Sure, he's flirty and charming, but for some reason it seems more like he wants everyone to notice his behaviour towards her than he wants her to respond. I think he might just be after her because she's pretty and popular. I _really _don't like him, and I don't think he's the right guy for her at _all_._

_Should I say something to her?_

_Worried_

Dear Worried,

It's a dilemma. If you don't say anything and your friend gets hurt, you'll be beating yourself up for not having warned her before; if you do say something, she might resent your interference.

I say watch and wait awhile, and make sure there really is a cause for concern before you say anything to her. Who knows, it might just die away without anything coming of it.

By the way, are you _sure_ you're not in love with your friend? You seem awfully determined to dislike this other guy just because he's 'flirty and charming' and you're – presumably – not. Give it some thought – you two sound like you'd be a cute couple.

Gah... times like these I really wish my editor didn't hide peoples' email addresses from me – I have no idea who you are, but I'm really curious now!

Amy


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** This one's probably too easy to guess, but go ahead anyway! :)

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I've found my Prince Charming already, but there's this absolutely _darling_ girl in my French class who I'd like to see just as happy as myself. She's very shy, and says it's okay and that I don't need to trouble myself about her, but I don't listen to that sort of talk. What are friends for, after all? That's what I always tell her._

_Anyway, what do you think is the best way to go about finding her a boyfriend? I suggested the two of us going on a double date with my Prince Charming and another boy, but she seems a bit apprehensive about it. Perhaps I should recommend her to some of the boys I know – what do you suggest?_

_Princess Charming_

Dear Princess,

You want my advice? Leave the poor girl alone! She clearly does _not _want you meddling around in her love life, but is too nice to tell you so. Let me do it for her: back off, mind your own business and let her manage her own life.

Amy


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **I'm freeeee! Finished my last exam today (felt it went pretty well – thankfully, because I thought yesterday's one went rather badly). They were both practicals, and we had to take a medical history from a fake patient, do a relevant examination (e.g. musculoskeletal, neurological, mental state, etc.), and then do some procedure (e.g. take blood pressure, give injection), and then find connections between biological, psychological and social stuff in their case. So nerve-wracking, and quite hard to prepare for.

That's probably a lot more explanation than any of you wanted or needed, so here's the next drabble – please review!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_There's this girl I like. Yes, I know half the letters you get start off like that, but hear me out: it's not that I am hanging around petrified that she might not like me. I've tried asking her out – she said she'd think about it, but then a couple of days later she rejected me._

_I've tried to move on, but it's been a couple of months and I can't help it – I still like her. Do you think I have any chance with her? I mean, when I asked her out, she didn't say no outright – and she looked like she felt really bad about it when she did. Is she just too nice not to feel guilty about it, or is there any hope for me?_

_Hopeful_

Dear Hopeful,

It's a mark of your sincerity that you still feel the same about her even months down the track after she said no. Any girl would be lucky to have someone as steadfast and loyal as you. This girl seems like a nice person who may have been a little misled, and a little confused about her feelings when she said no to you. I think you shouldn't give up hope.

If you're who I think you are, you share an English class with her? Even if that's not the case, my advice still applies. Sit next to her in class, talk to her, become her friend. If she's who I think she is, she'll be relieved you don't hate her for backing out of your date. Eventually, ask her out again, and I'll be very surprised if she doesn't say yes. Good luck!

Amy


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Hope this drabble makes it slightly clearer where we are in the story. Let me know what you think!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I feel like I'm always writing to you, but I don't know who else to ask for advice. That boy I told you about before, the one who turned out to like my friend instead of me – he has a girlfriend now, and I think he must have told her I liked him at one point, because now she gives me an evil stare every time she sees me, and makes nasty comments about me when she knows I'm within earshot._

_I thought _he'd _be content with that, but he seems to want to rub in the fact that he never liked me and that he's so much better than I am – one of my guy friends told me that this boy had scrawled some really bad things about me on the wall of the boys' bathrooms. He said he'd clean it off for me, and he said not to worry about anything _that boy _says, because everyone knows he's a jerk, but it still makes me feel really upset. What should I do?_

_Tormented_

Dear Tormented,

What this horrible couple is doing to you is bullying, and shouldn't be tolerated. If anything like this happens again, I'd recommend telling someone like a teacher, or an adult you trust so that you can figure out what to do next. What is happening is _not_ your fault, and you should never think it is.

In the meantime, it sounds like you have some great, supportive friends. The guy friend you mentioned sounds really sweet, and like someone you can really count on. As long as you have people like him looking out for you, you will be fine. By the way, have you ever considered that this boy who is a friend could lose some words in the middle and become a _boyfriend_? He sounds like he'd be really good for you. Just a thought. ;-)

Amy


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **It's going to move along fairly quickly from here. Please review and tell me what you think!

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**LETTERS NOT BEING PUBLISHED THIS ISSUE**

_Dear Amy,_

_I'm going to find a boyfriend for that poor girl from my French class no matter what you say – I'm not selfish or insecure like you, and I won't let you stop me from doing some good for the world. I don't know why I even asked for your advice anyway. This is the last you'll hear from me. So long, loser._

_Princess Charming_

_Dear Amy,_

_Your advice sucks. You suck. Die, b..._

_P.E._

_Dear Amy,_

_Oh, and your fugly whining friend, 'Despairing' or 'Tormented' or whatever she calls herself – she can die too. Publish that, b..._

_Prince Charming_

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I like this guy in my Math class, and I've liked him ever since the eighth grade – or maybe it was the seventh? I don't remember exactly... oh wait, yes, it was the seventh, because I remember that was the year we made those clay circus animals in art class, and he told me he liked my elephant. I thought that was so nice of him – my elephant was purple, but with pink ears, if you can imagine that; a little unusual, and the art teacher called it weird and ugly, but he said he liked it._

_Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes – so I like him, and I've liked him for a long time, but I don't know what to do. Should I say something, or would that be too pushy? I don't want to seem pushy, because I'm sure pushy people wouldn't be that nice. I don't think he'd like a pushy person – he's so nice and unassuming himself. But if I don't say anything, what if nothing happens? I don't want to lose him by not taking any action._

_What should I do? I know you always say to drop hints and let his behaviour be your guide, but I don't think I can do any of that extra eye contact, touching his arm stuff – just thinking about it makes me blush and get tongue-tied. Please tell me what I should do!_

_Shy Girl_

Dear Shy,

You, getting tongue-tied? Ha – good one! I don't think _your_ problems lie in _that_ area. My advice to you is the same as my advice to everyone in this situation: let his behaviour be your guide. Drop hints you like him as more than a friend, and see how he reacts. If he flirts back, go for it; if he seems oblivious or freaked out, give it up.

Don't diss my methods if things don't work out for you – more likely than not, it's not me, it's you.

Amy


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Please review!

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To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, April 23, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Subject: Your reply to 'Shy Girl'

How could you be so nasty to her? The poor girl only asked for advice, which, as I recall, it's your _job_ to give – how could you snark at her like that? And in front of the whole school, too.

You recognise her writing style just as easily as everyone in the school will, and yet the consequences didn't seem to occur to you. You _know _she already gets laughed at, and everyone looks up to **Ask Amy** – you have the power to change peoples' attitudes; but instead you choose to make fun of her and humble her in front of people who will be guided by your treatment of her.

You're so keen to help people when they least require it, Emma. Yet the one time you might actually do some good, you go and do the opposite. I'm telling you this not because I enjoy it – whatever you may think, I don't – but because nobody else will, and you need to know it. Everyone else either thinks you're as perfect as _you_ think you are, or they're too intimidated by you to say anything.

Emma, you can be so much better than this. You _are_ so much better than this. I wouldn't be friends with you if you weren't. But when you do something like this, I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Going to catch a flight overseas tonight, so I thought I'd update before I left. Please review!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

Dear Shy Girl,

I can't take back the reply I gave to you, however much I want to, because it's in print. What I can do, however, is apologise for what a b... I was, and write a proper reply to your relationship dilemma.

I was having a really crappy day when I went off at you like that, and I know that's no excuse for taking it out on you, but I am really sorry for it. I know I probably hurt your feelings, and I feel like a total heel about it. If I can make it up to you in any way, let me know, and I'll do it.

Now, for your relationship query – I'm getting the vibe that my usual recommended approach makes you feel too self-conscious, and that it's not something you'd feel comfortable doing. That's okay – if it's not you, don't push yourself to act that way. After all, another one of my tenets is that you should always be yourself.

And yet – nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you want him to notice you, you have to actually approach him and talk to him. You don't have to flirt, but you do have to say _something_. Strike up a conversation in Math class: ask to borrow a pencil from him, talk about how horrible Trig. is (a sure conversation starter), ask how his weekend was, _anything_.

It's a beginning – become friends and let him realise what a great person you are. If you like, once you get a bit more confident around him, you can try some of my usual tips. Wishing you the very best of luck,

Amy


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Let me know what you think!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I didn't follow your advice from last time about telling my girlfriend's parents about us – I _can't_ do that; you don't know her parents. They wouldn't budge; they'd probably make her move schools or join a convent or something._

_Anyway, the problem is, I've been acting like a real tool and have been flirting with someone else – partly to deflect suspicion from our secret, but truthfully, mainly because I'm scared she doesn't care anymore, and I needed to see a reaction, some jealousy, _something!

_Well, I got my reaction – she broke up with me. What do I do? I think I love her._

_Romeo In Desperation_

Dear Desperation,

Well, I won't say I told you so, but... well, I _did _tell you so_._ Okay, obnoxious moment over; now let's see what we can do to fix it.

The good news is, she didn't leave you for someone else. The bad news is, she left you because you were a jerk to her and that other girl you've been flirting with.

The other good news is, jerkiness can be fixed – you can make amends. Apologise to the girl you flirted with; apologise to your (ex, but hopefully not for long) girlfriend, and then... (you're not going to like this, but it will probably be the deal-breaker, unfortunately) say that you will support her when she tells her parents.

Tell her parents, weather the storm, and then, if all goes well, live happily ever after.

Amy


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** A lot of you wanted to hear more from Jerry, and I have to say, beginning from now, most of the following chapters are letters from Jerry, letters about Jerry, emails between Jerry and Emma, etc.

Hope you enjoy this one – let me know what you think!

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**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_Okay, you were right. I _am _in love with my friend. But here's the problem – I think she's in love with (or at least seriously infatuated with) that jerk I told you about before – the one I thought was leading her on. Well, I guess he's not, and they are either together, or this close to getting together._

_I don't know what to do. It kills me to see them together, but if he makes her happy, I don't want to ruin it by interfering. But I can't just let them be, either – I'm so used to protecting her that I can't just detach myself like that. I still think he's not right for her, and that's not just jealousy talking. I honestly think this guy isn't what he seems to be, and that he has some ulterior motive._

_What should I do? And this may seem like a bit of a weird question, but I'd also be really interested to know what you'd advise the girl I love to do._

_Torn_

Dear Torn,

Let me answer your 'weird' question first: I would advise this girl to stop being an idiot and open her eyes to the great guy who's there right under her nose. I'm serious – I'm not just saying that; I think I'm a little in love with you myself after reading your letter. :)

As to what you should do – it seems as though you still have some uncertainty about the status of their relationship. Maybe they aren't together yet, or maybe their flirtation didn't really mean anything. In any case, don't give up hope. Before you do anything drastic, bide your time and see what develops.

But... I must stress this: DO NOT under any circumstances approach her with your suspicions until you have some concrete proof. Your gut instinct is not going to cut it, especially if you tell her you love her; that doesn't exactly make you an impartial observer when it comes to the guy you think she likes.

I hope everything works out for you. Let me know if it does, and if all goes well, pretty please can you tell me who you are? I promise I won't publish it – I'm just curious.

Amy


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Sorry, I didn't have access to a computer for a while there. But hope you enjoy this chapter - let me know what you think!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_Yes, it's me again, but this time I'm writing on a more positive note. I really thought about what you said about my guy friend, and I realised that you were right – I do like him, and I think we'd go well together too!_

_Unfortunately the only class we're in together is Biology, and since we spend the whole class pretty much with our eyes glued to microscope lenses, there's not much opportunity there – but we do sit in the same group at lunch, so I've been trying to put some of your tips in action, and I think he's responding well._

_What's next? Should I wait and see if he asks me out, or should I go for it and ask him? I'd ask my girl friend what to do – you know, the really nice girl I told you about – but it might be a bit awkward, because she's been friends with the guy I like since kindergarten, practically. It'd probably be a bit weird, like someone telling her her brother is hot. That's why you're my only port of call – what do you advise?_

_Girl With a Crush_

Dear Crush,

You mean you're not in an English class with the guy you like? And he's childhood friends with your girl friend?

Are you absolutely one hundred percent sure he responded positively to your hints? Are you sure he wasn't just being nice? He is – from what you say, anyway – a very nice guy. Maybe he was just being nice. It's hard to say anything definitively.

My advice is: take things slow. Don't rush forward without being absolutely sure about his feelings. Don't take any risks here. Do NOT ask him out yourself. Yet, I mean. Bide your time. Don't jump to any conclusions.

Amy


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** Thoughts?

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, May 2, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Subject: Are you okay?

Haven't seen you around yet, but I know you must have heard about that jerk and his secret girlfriend. If he could deceive you and lead you on like that, he's obviously not the right guy for you.

I hope you'll come to realise in time that he's not someone you need to regret – in fact, you'll probably end up feeling sorry for _her_.

You should know that if you ever need to talk about it, I'm here to listen, Emma.

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Thurs, May 3, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Subject: Hello...?

Emma? Have you not read my email, or do you just not want to talk about it? You've been really quiet every time I've seen you, and I don't know if I'm allowed to say anything or not.

If you really don't want to talk, send me a reply saying 'I don't want to talk about it' (you can copy and paste it), and I'll let it be.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** A belated Christmas gift on my behalf. Hope you like this chapter.

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Fri, May 4, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Subject: Re - Are you okay?

Sorry for the delay in replying; I only checked my email now.

I don't mind talking about it – there's nothing to talk about. I'm okay – really. I never really liked him; truly. Pick up your jaw right now, Knight.

I feel like I owe you some sort of explanation, but it kind of sucks to have to make myself look like even more of a vapid, shallow, blind fool in front of you after the Shy Girl fiasco.

The thing is, he was _Frank Churchill _– you know, popular, good-looking, rich, and to top it off, the guy I had one of those 'across the cafeteria, never gonna happen, but what if' crushes on in the eighth grade. I mean, of course I was over that – it was never a big deal, and it's been four years, after all. But it was still flattering that he was flirting with me, even if I knew it wasn't really supposed to mean anything. Which is why I flirted back.

Yeah, it was a vanity thing. Just like it apparently always is. So while the news of his secret tryst is a little embarrassing considering how I behaved towards him, I am not heartbroken. Not in the least. Probably should have seen it coming though – I can't believe I was giving him and his girlfriend advice through **Ask Amy** and I _still _didn't make the connection.

So... tell me I'm a spoiled brat, tell me it's typical of me, tell me I need to grow up, but _please,_ Knight– tell me I'm still your friend.

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at 

Time Sent: Fri, May 4, 2010 at 10:32 pm

Subject: Re - Re - Are you okay?

Emma, you're a spoiled brat, this is typical of you, you need to grow up and – of _course_ you're still my friend, doofus!

Do you really mean it? About never having really liked him that way? So you're okay? I have to admit, I couldn't ever be sure about anything except that he didn't deserve your affection.

Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't worry about what I might think. You're my best friend, and I would never think badly of you, because even when you do stupid things, you always try to put them right. But right now, about this, I'm just glad you're okay.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** Happy new year, everyone! Sorry about the filler-ish nature of this chapter, but it needed to be written. The next one is the Big One, so look forward to that.

Thanks so much to those who have been reviewing – would love to hear from anyone who's reading!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I have really good news: my boyfriend finally agreed that we should tell my parents about our relationship, and so I did, and even though they got mad at first, and grounded me for a month, my mom was happy I'd told them the truth and she brought my dad around._

_They haven't given any definite permission for us to date, but they've agreed to let me invite him over for dinner so that they can meet him and get to know him._

_My boyfriend told me he'd followed your advice, so all of this is actually due to you! Thank you so much._

_Frustrated No More_

Dear No More,

I am so glad everything has worked out for you, but really, it was not all due to me. My advice given to a jerk wouldn't have produced any results. You're happy now because your guy is great and willing to make sacrifices for you.

Anyway, I've probably broken as many hearts as I've healed with my advice, so if I've delivered a hit this time instead of a miss, I'm glad for it. Wishing you all the best,

Amy


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** Well, here's the Big One (big in terms of content if not length). Hope you like it – would love to hear from everyone who's reading!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I'm in love with a really great girl, but I have absolutely no idea how she feels about me. We're good friends, and I know she values my friendship, but I don't know if she has ever or could ever think of me as anything more._

_I haven't followed your usual tips, not only because I believe they would be of no use with this girl – she'd either not notice, or think I was joking, or freak out – but because, like Shy Girl, I really don't feel like it would be natural coming from me._

_I can't take this for much longer. I have to tell her. But I _can't_ risk losing her friendship – I'd rather say nothing than lose that. But perhaps I've come too far to hide it now anyway._

_What should I do? Should I go to her in person and tell her how I feel? I think you know who I am _and_ who I'm talking about, and with that in mind, I'd really appreciate your honest advice. Tell me what you think, and if in your opinion, matters are not favourable, we can forget I sent this letter._

_Hopefully Your Knight In Fairly Well-Cleaned Chainmail_

Dear Knight,

Listen to me: do not – I repeat, do NOT – tell her of your feelings. I do know who you are, and trust me on this – it will ruin _everything_. Do you understand? _Everything._

Don't rush into anything, Knight. Take some time, consider, don't commit yourself.

This girl is NOT right for you. You may think she is now, but she really, really isn't. And you will realise this one day, and then you will thank me.

Amy


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Please review and let me know what you think!

* * *

To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, May 7, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Subject: My letter and your reply

Thanks for being honest, Emma. I was an idiot to have expected anything more or less than what I got. I hope we're still friends?

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com.com

From: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

Time Sent: Mon, May 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Subject: Re - My letter and your reply

Yes, of course we're still friends, Knight. It's just... I mean, I can't–

Whatever. Screw this. Just promise me you'll look out for next week's **Ask Amy** section, okay?

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

Dear Knight,

This is happening far too often, but I feel terrible about the reply I wrote to your letter. I was rude, and bossy and way out of line. It was not my place to pass judgments on whether or not the girl you love is right for you. It's up to you to know your own heart.

So... I'll tell you the truth now. The girl you're talking about actually wrote to me only a little while ago asking my advice for how she could get together with you. She likes you back – and who knows, maybe after a while she'll even _love_ you back.

Please don't ask me why I told you not to confess your feelings to her when I knew all this. It was wrong of me, I know. Go on and be happy with your Biology beauty. You deserve it.

Amy


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: **Hope you like this one, but don't worry – there's more fluff in the next chapter. Would love it if you could review with your thoughts!

* * *

To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Subject: WTF?

Emma, what on earth do you mean by your reply? I love _you_, you twit, not some girl from my Biology class!

Okay, that's it – I'm going to your place right now to speak to you in person, since you probably won't check your email any time soon. No more cowardly, half-anonymous, third-person crap.

See you there, hopefully.

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:51 pm

Subject: Re - WTF?

This is my AA email, you idiot – of course I'll be checking it incessantly. It's only my normal email I neglect.

I'm still at school – don't tell me you've already left for my place?

* * *

To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Subject: Re - Re - WTF?

Just turned back. HC office?

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Subject: Re - Re - Re - WTF?

Of course the HC office, you mentally challenged git! Where else would I be after school on Monday?

* * *

To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Subject: Re - Re - Re - Re - WTF?

What's with all the insults? And honestly, 'git'? You've got to stop rereading _Harry Potter._

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Subject: Re - Re - Re - Re - Re - WTF?

What's with all the instant replies? Don't tell me you're sitting at a computer somewhere instead of marching up to the HC office and sweeping me off my feet.

* * *

To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Subject: Re - Re - Re - Re - Re - Re - WTF?

Man of many talents – armed with an iPhone I can march and type at the same time.

But never fear, Jerry Knight's Cleaning Service is soon to be here. We specialise in sweeping, vacuuming and mopping you off your feet.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** Hope this satisfies those who had a craving for fluff – I did my best to work with the format I'd chosen. Please review with your thoughts!

* * *

To: izzy_loves_john at hotmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, May 14, 2010 at 8:42 pm

Subject: OMGsqueesplutterchoke23j2iy$yHG&(&

23j2iy$yHG&(& means 'brainmelt', by the way. And my brain is well and truly melted. In the best possible way. I got home two hours ago, dazed, and have spent the past hour and a half sitting and staring at the same spot on my wall and wondering how the heck I got so darn lucky.

Then for the past half hour I've been feeling like telling somebody, like yelling it out to the whole world, but I know I can't spring this on Dad without thinking it through and preparing him, and for reasons I'll go into later, I couldn't tell my best (female) friend. That leaves me with you, and I know you've always been a great listener, so thanks in advance for wading through this as I know you will.

So… let me begin at the beginning. You know how people say that if you want to know what a woman will be like in twenty years, look at her mother? I've found that anyone who wanted to see Emma in seven years should simply have looked at Isabella – totally in love, married out of high school, blissfully happy, the works.

Yikes, just read over that – _not_ that I'm married, or that he's even asked, or that we've even talked about it (_long_ way off on all three counts), but you know what I mean.

Who is 'he', you ask? Perhaps you'll be surprised – shocked, even; perhaps you'll be incredulous; or perhaps you'll have seen it coming all along (gah, I can't believe _I _didn't!). '_He'_ is Knight. You know, our Jerry Knight – John's brother, my platonic (or so I thought) friend of seventeen years.

Long story short (because it _is_ very long and convoluted and twisted), he told me he loved me sort of cryptically, and I thought he was confessing his feelings for my aforementioned best female friend (who I knew liked him), and I was heartbroken and jealous and pissed off, and it showed in my reply – which made him think I didn't love him back, and made _him_ heartbroken (and possibly those other things too).

Anyway, he came up to talk to me afterwards, and this is sort of how our conversation went.

Knight: (nervously running a hand through his hair, even though he sort of knew I loved him back by this point – due to an enlightening email exchange which took place immediately before this conversation) Um, hi.

Me: (caught between trying not to roll my eyes, and marvelling that after so many years of friendship – heck, after _knowing _my feelings, he could still get nervous around me) Hey.

Knight: (picking loose thread from sleeve) You, er, you got my last email?

Me: (quickly checking my computer screen in case he had sent a new one in the last three seconds) Um, yeah, I – I did.

Knight: (hands fidgeting with button on shirt) Oh. Good.

Me: (deciding to move this little discussion along) You said you wanted to talk to me in person?

Knight: (ears going pink) Oh, um, yes, that's right. Emma, I – I just wanted to say…

Me: (taking a step closer, trying to sound encouraging rather than interrogatory; I mean, come on, I had – subconsciously – waited for _years_ for this moment, and of course I was going to savour the grand love confession _before_ throwing myself at him and kissing him until his brain melted and leaked out of his ears. On second thought, ew, that was a rather gross metaphor. Simile? Metaphor? Whatever. Queen of English, me.) Yes?

Knight: (sighing in frustration, and biting his lip furiously – which didn't help on the 'refraining from kissing him until he's through with his speech' front, I can tell you) I can't make speeches, Emma. God, this is so _stupid_ – if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more, but you know what I'm like. You know I've spent a worrying amount of time telling you stuff you don't want to hear, you know I bore you and lecture you and yell at you when you do dumb things, but you still put up with me, like nobody else would. Just put up with me for a bit longer, Emma, while I try and blunder through this. I know I've never made an effort, never told you, never given you the slightest hint about all this, but I swear, I'll remedy that now if you'll just give me a chance. (looking at me hopefully, and yet still sort of bracing himself for a rejection) So, um, d'you think you could? Give me a chance, that is?

Me: (eyes narrowing and stepping forward until we're practically nose-to-nose – well, my nose to his clavicle, anyway) Did you even _read_ my emails, Jerry?

Knight: (swallowing) Well – yes, but I read them quite quickly, so I might have misunderstood–

Me: (giving up on him getting a clue, sighing in frustration and grinning my head off all at the same time) Yes, of _course_ I'll give you a chance, you stupid prat! (Wow, maybe I _do_ read too much _Harry Potter_) I love you too!

Knight: (finally taking some initiative and lowering his head and kissing me senseless)

You know, Izzy, I don't know why they call it kissing someone 'sense_less'_, because frankly, all I could think about was what my senses were relaying to me: how his lips felt on mine (warm, soft, slightly chapped), how it felt to run my fingers through his hair (lovely – not that I've never done it before, but you know, ruffling it playfully and _this_ were worlds apart), how good he smelt (soap, rosin, and something else uniquely Jerry), how his hand felt on my cheek (warm, callused, gentle), how _right_ it all felt.

A little weird, yes, considering that this was _Knight_, and that two weeks ago I didn't even know I was in love with him, but totally awesome at the same time.

After that, we just hung around in the Highbury Chronicle office for over an hour talking (well, mostly talking ;-)). Can you believe, he's been in love with me for months at least? Well, he says he's known it for about that long, and that it could actually have been years. And you know what? I think it was the same for me – I have never liked any girl he has dated (she would always be too 'this' or not enough 'that' – basically, she wasn't _me_, and that was unacceptable, even then).

And Knight's opinion has always mattered to me more than anyone's (even if I would have rather died than admit as much to him); and it's not that I always asked his 'permission' before doing what I wanted, or that I didn't go ahead if he disapproved, but disappointing him would always feel like the end of the world.

I can't believe I didn't realize all of this sooner – I feel like that girl in _Clueless_. Except, you know, hopefully a little less ditzy.

You know, being with Knight like this is surprisingly unawkward – yes, I can kiss him now if I want to (and I usually _do_ want to), but I can still talk to him like always, we can still remain silent if we want to without feeling pressured to make conversation, and I know without needing to arrange it that we'll be heading to school together tomorrow like we always do.

It's almost like nothing's changed, and I guess it hasn't, except for the better. I think maybe we were always dating in everything but the name and we just didn't realize it – and now it's official, which can only be good.

And, well, that's it for now, I guess. Hope I didn't bore you, Izzy – but since I know you will have devoured every detail of this email before (probably) jumping up and down squealing and demanding inordinately large amounts of money from John which you will have won from placing bets on how long it would take me and Jerry to get together (don't deny it, I know you did), I won't apologize for the novel I've practically written to you.

Hope John and the kids are doing well. All my love to them and you,

Em


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: **Please let me know what you think!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I can't believe this is happening again, but the guy friend I told you I liked? It turns out he was in love with my friend all along as well, and what's worse, they're together now! How did I not see that coming?_

_At first I was pissed off at her for going after the guy _I _liked, but I suppose I can't really blame her because I never even told her I liked him myself, right?_

_Thank God I haven't told anyone I liked him except for you, but what should I do now? It's really awkward being around them, but I don't have an excuse for suddenly avoiding them and not being their friend anymore._

_In Need of Advice_

Dear In Need,

Ouch! That sounds like a terrible situation for you, especially as you feel you still have to be nice to them. I reckon you need some time away from those two until you've processed all this a bit more and have begun to heal.

Try sitting with a different group at lunch for a while – like your friends from other classes like English or something. Maybe take on some extracurricular activities to keep you busy and to keep your mind off them.

And if your guy friend loves someone else, then he's not the right person for you. You should keep an open mind, and see if there's anyone else you might like, maybe from one of your other classes, like English. Check back in, and let me know how it all goes. Wishing you only the very best,

Amy


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Let me know what you think! Sorry this one's so short – there will be longer ones coming up.

* * *

**LETTERS NOT BEING PUBLISHED THIS ISSUE**

_Dear __Amy,_

_My girlfriend is a bit bossy, somewhat self-obsessed and rather prone to thinking she's always right. Yet even while I lament over her faults, I'm drawn to her and secretly think she's even more awesome than _she _thinks she is. Is there something wrong with me?_

_Bewildered But Buoyant_

Dear Jerry,

No, _you're _fine – there's something wrong with her. You've always been completely honest with her, have never flattered her, and you've lectured her and scolded her for years when you think she's wrong – admittedly, on these occasions she usually is – but she still loves you. Yes, she probably needs to get her head checked, but as they say, if it's not broken...

Amy


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** Hope you like – please review with your thoughts!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I know you told me to keep an open mind about other guys, and so I tried. And you know that guy in my English class who asked me out at the start of the year?_

_Well, it turns out that not only does he _not_ hate me for how rude I was to him, but he still likes me! For a while now he's been really nice to me, but I didn't really know what to make of it – it was so different from how that other jerk I told you about behaved towards my girl friend after she rejected him. Even so, I almost couldn't believe it when he told me – it seemed like it was too good to be true._

_I really think I made a mistake in judging him and saying no the first time he asked me out – imagine, if I'd said yes then, I could have spared myself all the drama and heartache that followed._

_So... I just wrote this letter to tell you that I'm dating him now, and I couldn't be happier. Thank you so much for all your advice and support thus far, but I think this is the last letter I am going to be writing to you._

_Finally Happy_

Dear Happy,

I am so glad for you – if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you. My heartiest congratulations to you and your English class guy!

I will admit, I feel proud of you and at the same time a little sad that this will be your last letter to **Ask Amy** – but more power to you. See you around, as my real self at least, if not as

Amy


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N:** Just an explanatory note: at high school, my nerdy girls' school's nerdy brother school had this really disgusting competition called a 'Milk Run' where the contestants drank heaps and heaps of milk with different food colouring in it, and then they would just run around the oval again and again until they threw up (in different bright colours). The person who went furthest without throwing up won. It wasn't considered a particularly cool thing to do, even for them.

Anyway, please review!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_My girlfriend and I have known each other since kindergarten, and we were best friends long before we started dating._

_I can't complain about much – life is great, she is amazing, I love her and unaccountably but wonderfully, she loves me back. But... she's always had this habit of calling me by my last name alone. It's just this thing we had, and I always kind of liked it before, because it was like our special thing and nobody else really calls me that._

_She still calls me that now, even though we're dating, and don't get me wrong, it's not that I want her to start calling me 'darling' or 'sweetheart' or whatever (that's really not our style) – but sometimes her calling me by just my last name feels a bit formal, or like she's a sports coach or something._

_I know I'd miss it if she stopped altogether, but I'd like her to call me by my first name as well sometimes. The problem is, when I asked her, she said it felt strange, and she didn't think she'd ever be able to. What is the best way to convince her: blackmail or bribery or a mixture of both?_

_Really interested to hear your opinion on this, 'Amy' ;-)_

_The Cartoon Mouse In Shining Armour_

Dear Jerry Knight,

This would be in the 'letters not published' pile if my editor hadn't insisted on including it. In her words, it's – and I quote – 'a lot more original than all that unrequited love crap we usually get'.

So here goes... first of all, what's wrong with your girlfriend calling you by your last name? She always has, and she's used to it, and from habit it's more of an endearment than a formality. Perhaps she just needs some time to get used to using your first name; but I have a feeling that 'Knight' will always have a special place in her heart.

As for how to convince her, I say definitely bribery. Blackmail is useless – sure, you've known her forever and have a lot of dirt on her, but she has just as much ammunition against you: for example, that time in geography class in first grade where you insisted to the teacher that guacamole was a South American country; or that time when you were a tree in the third grade school play, but you forgot to cut eye-holes in your costume, and instead of exiting stage right when you were supposed to you lost your orientation and walked forward and fell off the stage onto the front row of the audience; or that time in fifth grade when you took part in the Milk Run and were the first to throw up, even before the lactose intolerant kid.

Or some such embarrassing things which she'd probably know about you. She could probably go on. The point is, don't even try getting the upper hand here.

Bribery, on the other hand, is always welcome. Having striven against it all your life, you are surely the expert on how to spoil her. Actually, from you, flowers, chocolate, and/or expensive trinkets aren't necessary. You're not the most demonstrative person, and while she loves that about you, because it makes words of affection that much more meaningful when they're given, I'm sure she would love a more frequent confirmation of how much you care.

You see, Jerry, sometimes she still can't believe that you love her back, especially after all the stupid things she's said and done. Be patient with her, Jerry – she'll come around (even if she still doesn't really get what's wrong with just lovely old 'Knight'). Love,

Amy

Editor's note: Get a room, you two.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** There are just a couple more chapters to go; but I felt to round it off properly, Emma has to officially give up giving advice to other people. Let me know what you think!

* * *

**NEW 'ASK AMY/ANDY' NEEDED**

Yes, it's finally that sad time which I like to think many of you were dreading – I, Emma Woodhouse (Are you shocked? Elated? Horrified? Don't really give a damn? Don't worry, I never got to see any of your email addresses, and if I guessed your identity – which I did most of the time, because, no offense, it was pretty obvious – I never told anyone your secrets), your **'Ask Amy'** for the past three years, am graduating, which means that after the summer, my position on the Highbury Chronicle team as agony aunt (or agony... uncle, I guess) will be open.

In the interest of equality, girls and boys are both welcome to apply for the position (though we've never had an **'Ask Andy'** before – and regardless of whether or not that should be telling us something, we're open to the idea), and you can send your application to: editor at highbury. chronicle. edu

Forms are available from the HC office. The applications will be reviewed by the current HC team, the best applicants interviewed, and we'll let the successful person know they've got the job by June 30.

Applicants must be in the eleventh grade or younger this year to apply (duh, otherwise you'll be graduating with me, and you won't be able to do the job).

What we are looking for: someone who is empathetic, non-judgmental, clear-headed, and reasonably objective. If we can't find that, we'll settle for someone like me – possessing confidence, if not any of the other attributes ;-)

Looking forward to reading your applications and meeting you! Signing off for the last time as,

Amy


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** Only two more installments after this one; just tying up all loose ends. Let me know what you think!

* * *

_**Name: **_Amy Hawkins

_**Grade:**_ 11

_**Email address:**_ little_miss_gorgeous62 at hotmail. com

_**Why I want to be the new 'Ask Amy/Andy': **_I already give advice to everyone, and my friends always turn to me – in fact they say I give far better advice than the actual **'Ask Amy'** – they say they'd rather just 'ask Amy' – as in, they'd rather ask me. I'm already the expert at this – we might as well make it official.

_**Why I am a good choice to be the new 'Ask Amy/Andy':**_ Well, that's easy – my name is actually Amy; that's gotta be a sign, right? And plus, I am non-judgmental and all those other things – well, that's what my friends say, anyway.

_**Previous experience: **_I have, like a lifetime of experience sharing my (many) pearls of wisdom with my friends – what more can anyone ask?

* * *

_**Name:**_ Phil Elton

_**Grade:**_ 12

_**Email address:**_ phil_dawg24 at hotmail. com

_**Why I want to be the new 'Ask Amy/Andy':**_ because if Emma Woodhouse can do it, I sure as heck can do it better. And if it's a paying position, I won't say no.

_**Why I am a good choice to be the new 'Ask Amy/Andy': **_because I tell it like it is. I'll be honest and upfront – I won't mince words, and fudge things and lead people on like _some_ do. If someone writes to me and they sound like a loser, I'll tell them they're a loser.

_**Previous experience: **_not like I need any – it's not like it's a difficult job, if Emma Woodhouse can do it.

* * *

_**Name:**_ Hannah Smith

_**Grade:**_ 11

_**Email address:**_ hannah. smith at gmail. com

_**Why I want to be the new 'Ask Amy/Andy': **_I found the advice from **'Ask Amy'** a real comfort this year. When I was feeling down or just confused and unsure of what to do, it was such a relief to be able to write to her with the knowledge that I'd get a sympathetic reply from someone who wouldn't judge me – and I want to be that person for others.

_**Why I am a good choice to be the new 'Ask Amy/Andy': **_I'm a good listener, am committed to whatever I take on, and am really enthusiastic about this.

_**Previous experience:**_ being a journalist for the school newspaper at my previous school, getting a few letters to the editor published in the _Donwell Daily._


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** Thanks to iambbq for your advice on the question of whether or not to add in more Emma/Jerry fluff before wrapping the story up without having them both directly in it again (as was the original plan). I have reconsidered, but the new section looks to be quite long, so I'd estimate that after this one, we still have three, maybe four chapters to go.

Please review!

* * *

To: ask. amy at highbury. chronicle. edu

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Mon, July 1, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Subject: Congratulations!

Hi Hannah!

Emma told me you got the position. I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job – far better than Emma, in fact – and please do tell her I said that ;-)

She wants to assure you that you didn't get the job just because you're her friend, and she feels this assurance will sound more convincing if it comes through me. Well, I'll discharge my duty and say I have no qualms in telling you it's true – apart from a few ninth graders the editorial team felt lacked the maturity, the only other applicants of note were Phil Elton and Amy Hawkins – and when I say 'of note', I don't mean in a good way. So you earned it, fair and square.

So… enjoy the power as much as you can without becoming a mildly narcissistic control freak – and yes, you're free to tell Emma I said that as well ;-)

Cheers,

Jerry


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:** This, believe it or not (you'll know what I mean once you read it), is installment 1 of the added in fluff. Please review!

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Subject: I'm sorry :(

I know you're upset with me and that you're not talking to me at the moment, and I'm sure you must have good reason. I know I shouldn't have done what I did (or should have done what I didn't do).

Forgive me?

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:18 pm

Subject: Re - I'm sorry :(

Are you honestly telling me you don't know _exactly_ what you did (or didn't do)?

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Subject: Ha!

Tricked you into talking to me :)

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Subject: Did not

Email doesn't count, not with us sitting in the same room. If I were talking to you, I'd be _talking _to you.

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Subject: I am really, really, really, really…

…really, _really_ sorry. Please, please tell me what I've done (or not done)? How can I make things right unless I know what to fix?

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Subject: Fine

Do you recall yesterday, August 14th? Yes, I know you remembered my birthday (and after nigh on seventeen years of friendship, let me tell you, there's no reason for you to be looking for brownie points for remembering it – if you had forgotten it, I would have murdered you by now).

After gifting me with a copy of _Lord of the Rings_ and telling me I should read something other than _Harry Potter _for once (for the record I was so utterly _thrilled_ with this present of a long-winded fantasy trilogy you've been bugging me to read for what feels like forever – by the way, this is a pretty accurate description of how long one chapter of the book reads to me), you then told me you had a surprise for me, which I'd find out about in the evening.

_Okay,_ I thought to myself, _the book must have been a tongue-in-cheek present. My _boyfriend (emphasis so that you remember that this is indeed what you are) _has clearly got something awesome and romantic planned. He's dropped cryptic hints about how he thinks I'll like the surprise. He's waiting until John and Izzy leave for their ('no-particular-occasion-just-feel-_romantic_-and-_in_-_love_-even-though-we've-been-married-for-like-a-million-years') date, and then the surprise will be revealed._

So I dressed in a very adaptable combination – I felt smart, I felt casual, I felt like I would fit in well enough anywhere you'd planned to take me. I made an _effort._

Entering the living room, I realised – _oh dear; I'm a little overdressed next to my knight in shining pyjama pants. And yippee, the surprise appears to be a rented DVD of _The Princess Bride_ and a pizza._

I spent the next hour and a half eating admittedly my favourite pizza (again no brownie points – see seventeen year friendship clause above) and watching _The Princess Bride_ which we have seen a billion times already, sitting next to a teenage boy who acted all of his shoe size as he smirked contemptuously and rolled his eyes at the romantic scenes between Westley and Buttercup and avidly watched the sword-fighting and giant-rat-wrestling scenes.

Admittedly your arm was around me, but I don't know if it's because you wanted it to be, or because you could reach the pizza more easily that way; you didn't kiss me (and in light of the fact that we'd both eaten pizza with garlic, maybe that's just as well – but my point is that pizza was a mistake); and apart from the occasional 'Oh, this part is good, you have to see this' (which was totally unnecessary since I _have_ seen it, like a billion times – see above) you practically ignored my existence. It was as if the past three months had never happened and we were just friends again.

And after the two of us staying with John and Izzy – aka winners of the Most Sickeningly Cute Couple of the Century award – for the past two weeks, this was just salt in a bleeding, burning, festering wound.

I guess all that's left to say is, thank you, Mr. Knight, for the most romantic night of my life.

I trust you are no longer in any doubt of my sentiments?

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Subject: Ah.

Oh dear… I take it you weren't in the mood for a movie night?

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Subject: Re - Ah.

If it had been any other night, I might have been – but it was my freaking eighteenth birthday! Something a little _special _might have been nice.

By the way, I poured my heart out to you (which you've been bugging me to do for the past half hour), and that's all the reply I get? A single line? Get stuffed.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a note to warn you not to be too hard on Jerry until you hear his side of things (I'm too fond of him to let him bear the full brunt of your censure before you know all).


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** Hope you like reading Jerry's side of the story – please review with your thoughts! Only two more chapters to go after this one – really this time.

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Subject: It's difficult to explain – but let me try

After all, that bleeding, burning, festering wound of ours definitely needs airing out, a thorough clean, antiseptic and some fresh bandages – to continue your rather gross metaphor :-)

I want you to think back to three months ago – or better still, nine months ago before all that crap about Phil Elton and Frank Churchill; we were best friends. Not that we ever stopped being best friends in between, but I mean I want you to think back to the time when we were best friends and didn't have to worry about anything at all.

It was great, wasn't it? Hanging out with you was fun, no matter what we were doing (heck, even if we _had_ nothing to do, it was better being bored with you than being bored by myself). You made me laugh, and sometimes we'd have stupid debates just to wind each other up, and occasionally we'd talk seriously about our goals and hopes and dreams.

Now fast-forward through several months of teenage angst and misunderstandings and we're together. At first there was joy and relief – my best friend who I never thought would return my feelings, was _finally_ my girlfriend. And then came the panic – my best friend and my girlfriend were suddenly one and the same, and what if I messed up and then I lost both in one fell swoop?

I was trying; I was doing my best not to blow it. Some parts (kissing you, talking to you, kissing you, listening to you, kissing you) came naturally, but I struggled with others (the actual 'going on dates' part of dating – oh God, do you remember how horrifically _awkward _our first proper date was? I had no idea what to say to you, because I already knew all the answers to the standard first date getting-to-know-you questions).

The point is, sometimes this awful feeling of wondering whether I'm doing this relationship thing right obtrudes even on the parts that come naturally, and I just _miss_ being your best friend and not having to worry about any of this. Don't get me wrong – I would _never_ want to go back to being nothing to you except your friend. I love you, so much it scares me sometimes – because when I look at you, I think _this is it,_ and I'm not supposed to think _this is it_ at my age. (Though, rest assured, I do not watch you while you sleep, nor do I have a strong urge to do so; neither will I ever wreck your car so you can't spend time with your other friends; and in return please oblige me by promising never to jump off a cliff if you miss me – just give me a call instead.)

So what was I thinking when I ordered a pizza and rented _The Princess Bride_ (apart from, 'Mmm, pizza' and 'I love this movie')? I guess I just wanted to be comfortable, and to have fun, and to relax, and to spend time with you without feeling pressured.

I'm still learning, and I realise now that I timed that wrong – you're totally right; it being your birthday, I should have made an effort for you, even if it meant going out of my comfort zone.

I'm sorry, Emma :(

Let me make it up to you – let's go out now, and have the romantic evening that should have been. What do you think?


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** This is your second last chance to review – make the most of it, and let me know what you think! :)

* * *

To:  jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 7:05 pm

Subject: Sigh…

Sometimes it really irritates me that it's so hard to stay mad at you. :(

But in all seriousness, thank you for letting me know what was going on. When I'm worrying about you getting bored with me already, and thinking I'll lose my best friend and boyfriend all at once if you decide to get rid of me, it's particularly welcome to hear 'I love you' and _'this is it'_.

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From: jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Subject: Well?

You didn't answer my question – shall we go out now?

* * *

To: jerry. knight at gmail. com

From: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Subject: Re - Well?

What, right _now_, this second?

* * *

To: queen_of_the_castle at hotmail. com

From:  jerry. knight at gmail. com

Time Sent: Wed, August 15, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Subject: Hmm, yes, _now_

This very second. Leave your laptop, don't get changed, don't do your hair. Let's do something cutesy like bring our own tablecloth and candles to the local Subway, and then I can tell you about your six smiles, and how you pierce my soul (in addition to bewitching me body and soul and causing me to stutter out my love for you – though I'm not sure of the technical aspects of that; piercing the soul doesn't render bewitching it impossible, does it? Also NB: I did not give you leave to pierce my body; making this clear just so there are no accidents), and we can of course discuss how I've given you my heart so you'd better not give me a pen in return, and if we have time to get around to it, I can let out one of those hilarious noises Emma Thompson makes when she finds out Hugh Grant loves her in _Sense and Sensibility _(beats me how this makes you cry every time).

And of course, upon our return we'll lay down a tarp _and _a blanket on the lawn and stargaze (provided it doesn't rain – and it never does rain when one wishes to have a romantic evening stargazing session).

You have my word that if the opportunity presents, I will announce my love for you over the loudspeakers at a stadium of some huge game.

Also, if you want, I'll put my new college ID card on a lanyard and place it around your neck just so I can tell you that you look good wearing my future.

In addition, I warn you that throughout the evening, no matter what question you ask me, I will only answer 'As you wish' and give you an intensely soppy look (context be damned: 'Jerry, what's the time?' -'As you wish.' 'I didn't think Subway by candlelight would taste this good, did you?' -'As you wish.' And so on).

Oh, and just for the record, you can be certain that there will be _no_ garlic whatsoever in our food.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N:** Thought we'd round it off with the first letter from our new agony aunt – please take this last opportunity to let me know what you think (and thereby make my day)!

* * *

**Having relationship problems? Need a sympathetic ear? Wish you could get some helpful advice? Ask Amy, and she might just find you a solution!**

**All letters to Amy are subject to publication in the **_**Highbury High Chronicle.**_** Names and email addresses will be kept strictly confidential.**

_Dear Amy,_

_I've been best friends with this boy for years, and I think I'm in love with him. What's more, I have fair reason to believe he has feelings for me too. The problem is, I don't know if it's a good idea getting involved with him, because… well, what if we break up?_

_Based on my own and many other peoples' experiences, exes hardly talk to each other, and when they do, it's really awkward; what if that happens to us? Then I'd be losing a really good friend as well as a boyfriend._

_What should I do?_

_Seriously Confused_

Dear Confused,

My cautious answer to your question is: it depends. But as it's my job to infer and advise, let's look for the answer in your own letter.

Considering that you say you might be in _love_ with him, I'd say your feelings are strong, and if as you say, he likes you back, there's every chance you'd be happy together. You guys have been friends for years, so clearly you're compatible in some ways already – you know you can talk to each other, have fun together, fight with each other and make up, and that's important. Also, considering how long you've been friends, you may find it easier than most to maintain a friendship even if your relationship fails. I say go for it.

But there's no reason to go in thinking that it will fail – think positive! You've been friends for so long, so clearly you already know how to maintain one type of relationship with him; there's no reason you two won't be able to handle another if you keep the lines of communication open and be honest with one another, something you as friends would already have practice doing.

One of my best friends is dating a boy she's been friends with since kindergarten, and they're practically the happiest couple I know. Really, most people have to work to find a friend in their significant other – and if you're lucky enough to find a significant other in your best friend, then I'd say you've found the key to perfect happiness.

Amy

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
